I know people who have all kinds of backup plans. One of the most common backup plans people have is for their work or job. If something happens to their job, they have another one lined up "just in case". Many people have financial backup plans. Unfortunately, I know some people who have backup plans for their relationships - "If this one doesn't work, I will turn to him or her." Together we could list many ways that we have backup plans. Backup plans make a lot of sense. They are best when they are open and above board. Many of us have life insurance in case we leave this life and want to continue being financially responsible for others, especially those dependent on us.
I suspect that everyone that reads this blog has a backup plan in an area of their life that is important. Today, I am going to delve into what I believe is the ultimate backup plan. I am going to start by making a statement that I believe is an undeniable truth: Your time on this earth will eventually end in death. We are all "guaranteed" that we will not live our lives as we know it here forever. Yet, one of the strangest truths to me is that so many people live every day as if they know they will have a tomorrow. We simply do not know that we will have another day. Even if we attempt to stay safely at home in bed we can't be sure that we will live another day. And by living like tomorrow will always come, we put things off that are incredibly important. Unfortunately, many of us do not always get around to doing the things we know deep in our hearts are most important.
I am going to share through several blogs three incredible moments of truth in my life that really touched me deeply with the strong message that I am to live each day as if it were my last.
One of those moments happened soon after our family moved to Atlanta in 1997. This move was very difficult on our family, but I believed it was best for all of us. The difficulty of the move put some pressure on our relationships with one another. The good news is the move eventually led to us becoming even closer together as a family. Let's focus on the event that changed my perspective and life forever. Even though it was a fairly simple misunderstanding, the impact of what happened was incredible.
Our youngest daughter, Mary Sims was just 3 years old. My wife, Elizabeth, called me very early in the morning sobbing. I was at work and it was not even 7 am. Our phone connection was very poor and I "heard" her say, "Simsy has been hit by a car and she's been killed." I immediately responded, "No, please tell me, Mary Sims is okay, It isn't true." Elizabeth apparently could not hear me so well and she replied, "No she is dead. She is gone." I told her I would be right home and I left work immediately.
Maybe you can imagine, what that 20 minute drive was like on my way home. I actually hope you can't. I hope even more that you never experience the loss of your own child. Atlanta traffic was awful and I sat in it for a while. I told 1 person in my office about Mary Sims just before I bolted for home. She gasped and I left in a mad panic to get home as soon as I could. I made 1 phone call on my drive home to my Dad, gave him the horrible news, and asked him to please tell our family and pray for us. Dad told me how sorry he was and I said, "I know, Dad, somehow we will get through this."
I wept harder than I ever remember in my entire life. I immediately begged and begged God to take me instead. I asked Him to please create a miracle - I remember saying to Him, "Lord you don't owe me anything, but I will do anything to give our precious child another chance to live more life." It even crossed my mind I would give my life to give her one more day. Then, I found myself praying for my precious wife, Elizabeth. I kept thinking it had somehow happened on her watch, and I prayed for God to please help her not blame herself. Fault, didn't matter. Since that time in our lives was not the easiest in our marriage, it became so clear to me just how much I loved Elizabeth. My prayers for her peace told me she was worth every hardship we might ever face together in marriage. This all happened so incredibly fast. It was as if our lives had been altered forever in an instant. I wondered if I would ever smile again.
Then, Elizabeth called me and I answered. I immediately said, "I'm so sorry I took the expressway home. I will get off right away and find my way home as soon as possible." Then, she threw me a major curveball. She asked me, "Why are you coming home?" I admit I thought she had lost her mind when she asked me this. I wondered if I was getting closer to losing my own mind so her newest reaction almost made sense momentarily. I told her, "I need to be with you and I can't just stay at work." She responded., "What do you think you can do here?" I was shaking my head wondering how she thought I could stay at work at a time like this. I told he that I needed to be with her and and I wanted to see her (body). Elizabeth then said "She is at the Emergency Clinic on Roswell Road."That didn't make sense to me so I asked, "What Emergency Clinic"? She said, "The one at the Vet." I responded, "You left our daughter at the Vet?" Elizabeth shrieked in horror and began crying, "I am so sorry Jim, "It was Sidney our dog, not Simsy." (We love to call Mary Sims, Simsy.) Elizabeth apologized several more times through her tears.
I then told her, "I know this is tough, but I have to hang up and call my Dad and office right away." I was so relieved that Sims was safe that I never could feel too sad for the loss of our poor dog. (I felt a little guilty about that.) When I called my Mom and Dad, I discovered that they had been laying on the floor holding one another weeping since they hung up. My Dad was so relieved when I called him and shared the news. The conversations he and I later shared about this have also changed my life as a Father and son. When I returned to the office, I saw many tearful people who were so relieved that precious Mary Sims was okay. The people who came and hugged me and shared ever so briefly in my sorrow were incredibly touched by this misunderstanding. I believe it had a profound and unexpected effect on many of us.
That evening when I got home, I got down on my knees and hugged Mary Sims as if there was no tomorrow. Elizabeth began crying as she watched. Our oldest child Heath, who was a teenager watched us hug and cry, and she wiped away her own tears. Tears were rolling down my face as I felt Mary Sims precious hug and tiny fingers on my shoulders. That hug was beyond description. I kept thinking I would never see or feel her again...in this life. Mary Sims was too young to understand. We waited and later shared the story with her when she was a teenager. I can't tell you how many times I have hugged her, my wife, my son,Will, Heath, or another loved one again a second or third time because I knew I had no guarantees I could ever do it again. I have often gone into their rooms while they slept and kissed them on the cheeks just to know they were okay and to share my love. You see, we don't know we will have tomorrow and no matter what our backup plan is we need to say and do those things that matter the most now while we still can.
Say, what you need to say. Do, what you need to do. Make peace with a loved one. Make the hard telephone call you've been putting off, now. Don't count on tomorrow to be there to give you another chance to do it. But, I have something more to say.
This life is not always fair. In fact, it isn't fair in so many ways. We see random shootings in our world end lives senselessly. We see disease strike down young and old. There are so many car accidents. There are so many things that happen that we just can't make sense of and I suspect we never will...on this earth.
But, there is one thing we can hold near and dear to our hearts. We have a loving God that always keeps His promises. And He promises us eternity if we choose Him through the precious gift of His Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus died for us that we might be forgiven for our sins by his sacrifice for us and have eternal life. As Lucado said it, "Jesus chose the nails so that we could be together for eternity." Having felt what I felt for our beloved daughter, Mary Sims that day, I believe God's love for us demonstrated by Him allowing His son to suffer as He did on the cross is beyond any love I have ever seen on this earth. You see, any of the unfairness, the difficulty and tragedy in this life is offset by this amazing truth, "If we choose Jesus, we choose eternity." We have been given the amazing gift to choose eternity....now that is the ultimate backup plan. Jim
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