I need help. I need encouragement. I need strength. I need people around me who will help hold me accountable. Yet, there are times when those people I need aren’t there for me OR I won’t listen or let them help me. Sometimes I (choose to) go it alone and in those times it can be even more difficult.
I admit it: I wish things were currently better for me and more importantly my family. I wish "I" were "a better me"…for my family, my friends, my co-workers and my God. Life is a continual struggle. It is a series of events that are “sometimes” good and “sometimes” not so good. Sometimes, the situations I face are beyond my control. A day I spent in a hospital bed may have been hard to avoid. Then again, maybe I could have chosen to take better care of myself before that happened. Regardless, there are situations that occur in my life that I know I cannot control. This is such a universal concept that there are a multitude of sayings we know to help us cope with our lack of control. There are so many good sayings that focus on how we react or deal with setbacks. Some of these sayings are awesome. One of my favorite authors, John Maxwell wrote a book on the subject, "Failing Forward" that is an awesome guide for dealing with setbacks in our lives. The truth is I still find myself wishing I could control a lot more in life, but in many instances I ultimately can’t.
Let me share an excerpt from a letter I wrote to my Father shortly before he died:
"Most of the time I feel the same way about you. I wonder if there isn’t some way for me to strike a deal with the Lord to give you some of my health and my good days in a trade to allow you more joy in life. I am not unselfish, I want my health and the days God has given to me as a gift through you and Mom. I just want so badly for you to feel better and I will never be ready to live life without you (both) there as my best friends. I know I will survive; I just wish I had the power to change the world and yet I understand I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I had the power."
To understand the circumstances surrounding this letter, I had a good friend and co-worker dying from brain cancer. I had written to “Dad” expressing how much it hurt me to see her suffer and facing death. A tumor had just appeared one day at work and we had to rush her to the hospital. The doctors gave her a short time expected to live. While she managed to make the doctors wrong in their predictions, she has since died…prematurely. “Sometimes”, when I close my eyes I can still hear her infectious laugh. Also at that same time, my Dad was experiencing more and more serious health problems which included constant pain. It hurt me terribly to see him hurt. And by the way, it “always” hurts me to see someone I love hurt.
I wrote this letter to him in early 1998. My Father died on February 18, 1998 exactly one week after my Dad’s birthday. I sent the letter via email to him and he never received it…unless he somehow heard me read it at his funeral service. The good news? My Father knew how much I loved him…ALWAYS.
We even had the opportunity to discuss how strong our love and respect was for one another just a few days before he died. During that conversation in the hospital, my Dad told me that he had not received the letter I had emailed him. More importantly, Dad told me that we were "luckier" than most people because we had found a way to say the important things we needed to say to one another in our lives. I have made a determined effort to say what I believe is important to people even more so as a result of that conversation and my Dad's death just a few days later. It may be part of my continual efforts to blog. Life is too short, too uncertain and too limited on this planet to keep the important things that God put inside of us locked inside. We need to find ways to share who we are with others. Along the way, we just might make a difference in someone else's life.
And that is my point in today’s blog. There are so many things in our lives beyond our control. So many mistakes we make that we somehow must learn to live with. There are things that happen like the appearance of a tumor that we might just have to learn to live or die with. My word of hope and encouragement is to make sure to ALWAYS let others know that you love them…make peace with someone today who you need to make peace with...for better or worse, in sickness or in health, when they are wrong or right…ALWAYS love one another and make it a part of who you are to be sure they know you love them….ALWAYS! Merry Christmas...remember the reason we celebrate Christmas is because God gave us the gift of love and grace through His Son, Jesus Christ. Always!!!
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