Man’s Best Friend?
   I have grown up or grown “old” with the expression that many of us are familiar with that a dog is man’s best friend.  I have recently come to feel the truth of that statement in a way that hurts deeply.  I have also come to realize that the statement implies that a dog is a man’s best friend and it should read, man, woman, child or even another dog’s best friend.  I lost one of my best friends this week and I admit I am in mourning.  My wife, Elizabeth lost one of her best friend’s as did my daughter, Heath, son, Will and youngest daughter, Mary Sims.  Our granddaughter, Neema loved and adored Bella and Bella loved her too.  I can’t speak for others, but I can say that our family has experienced a deep loss when we said goodbye to Bella on Thursday evening.  I am going to do my best to honor our dear friend in my blog.  As I have felt when I attempted to honor other beloved friends and family, I don’t believe my words can serve justice when it comes to honoring Bella.  She is not the first dog I’ve loved and hopefully there will be more.
   Bella came to us 10 years ago from rescue.  Our daughter, Heath was a young adult and was temporarily still living at home so she had to get my permission to adopt Bella.  My wife, Elizabeth was out of town so I said yes to adopting this little puppy into our home without getting Elizabeth’s blessing or even knowledge.  I often struggle being the kind of person who begs forgiveness rather than asking for permission.  This time turned out to be one of the best times I took this risk in my whole life. 
   Bella is half German shepherd and half Cocker spaniel.  She has the coloring of a shepherd, the intelligence of a Shepherd and the loyalty of a shepherd.  (I have experienced the joy of growing up with 2 German shepherds in my childhood. I miss them too.)  On the other hand, Bella has the soft fur of a cocker spaniel and the loving nature of a spaniel.  I don’t believe Bella had a mean bone in her body.  She loved everyone, but was especially loving of all of our family, neighbors and friends.  It was fun over the years watching a non-dog person come into our home and snuggle up against Bella.  If someone possessed a loving heart, Bella would sense it and warm up to this person and share her love.  I know most of us think our beloved dogs are different; I believe this to be true about many dogs and cats.  Bella was very different.  For us, she became more than just a dog.
   Heath moved out shortly after she brought Bella home as a puppy.  We missed some of Bella’s time as a puppy.  It is worth noting that my wife, Elizabeth was not too pleased that Heath and I had conspired without her and brought Bella into our home.  Elizabeth still doesn’t consider herself a “dog person”, but no one loved or loves Bella more than Elizabeth.  You see a dog is so much more than a man’s best friend.  She was a true bundle of love and joy in our home and lives.  She has been for the last 10 years and she will remain in our hearts forever.
   Shortly after adopting Bella, Heath began a new mission in her life.  I would call her mission Africa or serving and loving widows or loving children.  She went on a short Mission trip to Africa and when she came home her heart was still in Africa.  She saved her money and went to do volunteer work in an orphanage in Africa.  She had served in a children’s home here, but her love for Africa and its widows and orphans led her to an orphanage, called Cradle of Love where she found a new little angel to love, Neema.  This mission became Heath’s passion in life and now Neema is Heath’s daughter living with her in Atlanta.  This story in itself is worth sharing, but I will share more about that another day.
   Heath’s journeys to Africa became longer and more demanding on her.  This meant we kept Bella “for her.”  In retrospect, I believe Bella came to be the one who kept us too.  In order to share my perspective I need to describe Bella and how she loved us in more details.  It may help you non-dog people to understand and appreciate just how deeply we feel the loss of a loved one.  You see, I believe we lost an angel in our lives when we lost Bella.
   Bella made all of us feel loved in our family.  When Heath would come home from a journey or from her apartment over the years, Bella would go crazy at the door waiting to greet her.  I can still close my eyes and imagine Bella crying to get to Heath as got out of her car in our driveway.  She did the same thing for Will, Sims, and Neema.   When Becca and Wesley became part of our family, Bella loved them too.  I am sad that Bella won’t get to know our family’s latest baby, Adelaide.  Heath and Myles are expecting a baby girl in January who will miss getting to know Bella.  Bella adopted Myles quickly and loved him too.
   During the times Heath and Neema lived with us, Bella would go in and sleep on the floor by Neema’s bed.  Bella adored Neema.  She always wanted to be close to Neema when Neema was here.  The thing that stands out the most to me is that Bella made all of us feel adored.
   When I travel, I felt a peace and comfort that Elizabeth had Bella there to love her.  I don’t know how much protection Bella provided other than the barking she would do if someone was in the yard or at the door.  I would love to hear her bark again.  She never attacked anyone so I can’t say that she provided that kind of canine protection.  She made you feel safer because you knew she was there and you knew she loved you.  Imagine if all people gave one another that kind of feeling of security and protection through their love and presence?
   When I lived in Charleston for nearly 2 years in 2010 and 2011, Elizabeth would bring Bella with her every time she came to stay with me.  I had a rental home in Mount Pleasant and the neighborhoods are safe, flat and perfect for long walks with Bella.  Bella could not wait to go on a long walk or jog with Elizabeth or the family.  She showed such joy over life’s simple pleasures of sharing time with loved ones.  She wrote a deep impression on our hearts and lives.  She did it not by what she said, but by her unselfish and loving actions.  As we all know dogs can’t talk.  But Bella found ways to always touch our hearts and to do so deeply.
   When I would get ready to go out of town each week like I have done for most of the past 3 years, Bella would start to look sad.  She would come back in the bedroom and watch me pack my clothes.  You could see the sadness build in her.  Late on Sunday afternoons and very early before daylight on Mondays when I would load the car to leave, she would not even look at me.  If she was mad, you could not see anger, but you could clearly sadness.  Imagine if we all cared that deeply about being close to one another?  Imagine if all people were sad to say goodbye to one another even on a daily basis.  We learned lessons in love from our dog, Bella.  I promise you we will always miss her.
   When I would arrive home on Thursday evening or Friday, Bella would be going crazy at the door to see me.  She would “love me” when I walked through the door and then she would pick up her bone and follow me down the hall as I went to our room.  She would drop her bone in the hopes that I would stop what I was doing and play with her.  She always wanted to share love and attention.
   Family vacations meant that we were all packing our things in preparation.  Bella would get antsy and wonder if she was going too.  You could see the tension build in her as she wondered if she would get to go.  When we brought out her bowls and food and asked her to get into the car, she would be overjoyed that she was included.  She never wanted to be left behind.  She wanted to be sitting next to someone giving and receiving love.
   When our home became an empty nest of children and grandchildren last year, Bella became our “only child” living home.  She would follow me downstairs to where I work or watch the “other TV.”  She loved it downstairs, but if Elizabeth was upstairs she would do double duty and go back and forth between us.  The strangest thing about Bella was how she behaved when only one of us (Elizabeth or me) was home.   She would stay away from each us until the other came home.  She was always friendly and loving, but she would hang by herself for the most part until the two of us were together again and then she was back to being herself right there with us.  I have thought she was a bit of a gift to our family from above, one of God’s creatures who gave love so indiscriminately and did her part in bringing us closer together.
   Bella became sick and in less than a week she left us pretty suddenly.  We had a family celebration and she could not move around very much.  She had multiple visits during the week to the vet, to testing and even the emergency clinic.  It appears her heart was enlarged and gave out.  She drank water, looked at us with loving eyes and when we petted her, she would occasionally have the strength to wag her tail.  Even to the last seconds she lived you could see the love in her eyes for her family.
   None of us were ready to say goodbye.  I keep expecting to see her get up from her chair in the morning to run see me and let me know she was ready to go outside.  I prepare myself to take her before I leave in the morning.  I expect to see her at the door to greet me when I get home.  When Elizabeth and I watch one of our shows on TV I expect to see Bella on the floor between us or on the couch as we allowed her to be.  She would come back and forth visiting us both, making us both feel loved.
   Even though Bella lived beyond 10, people who would meet her for the first time would ask, how old is your puppy?  She was always playful and young at heart.  Bella never grew old.  She may have grayed around the edges a bit and walked more with a limp, but she was always a puppy at heart.  I seek to always be young at heart as well.  As adults we still need to have the innocence of a child.
   My Father and Mother taught me in order to have a friend, you needed to be a friend.  Bella may have been just a dog, but she knew how to be a friend.  She made you feel loved.  In the first moments, when she passed away, I asked God if He would consider giving me a measure of Bella’s spirit.  You see I want to be the kind of unselfish, loving friend that Bella was to all of us.  I want people to feel loved when they come into the same room with me.  And, I want them to feel like I want to go with them when they have to depart.  I don’t know if dogs truly have a spirit, but I have come to believe that Bella did.
   I cried when Old Yella died.  I am still crying at times over Bella.  I will always miss her.  She loved me unconditionally.  She loved our family unconditionally.  I think of her and all of her loving names, Bella, Bella Booty, Booty, and Boots.  I don’t know if dogs go to heaven.  I know I hope she is there with my family and friends who have gone before me.  I also know she brought a little bit of Heaven to earth.  Thank you, Lord, for giving Bella to us.  She became part of our family for the past 10 years.  Thank you for your mercy that she did not suffer long when she became sick. As long as I live, She will always live in my heart.