My wife, Elizabeth Heath Hershey shared this blog with me a few days before Christmas by John O'Leary. Elizabeth saw John speak & he really touched her so she began following his blog. As I circled back through my emails & read this, I felt the strong need to share John's blog with my friends & family on FB & those that follow my blog. Thank you, Elizabeth for sharing this message with me. I am now following John's blog too.
Early this morning, as I found myself praying again and still mourning for the tragic losses of lifes & families devastated in Newtown, I found myself silently "wishing" that those struck down had all become God's angels. My heart wants so badly for all of life's tragedies to become triumph.
If we live our lives honoring our loved ones who have passed on like this heartbroken Mother honors her lost child, imagine what a better place our world would be? Tragedy and triumph... Jim
Be Not Afraid Rising Above by John O'Leary
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, Jesus
Merry Christmas. Happy Birthday Jesus. Today is my favorite celebration of the year. There are so many days to celebrate. I love the verse from the book of Psalm, Chapter 118:24 “This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” For me this simple verse reminds me to rejoice and be glad in every day. It is a verse that gives me joy when I struggle to feel joy.
Christmas Day is the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus. And when we focus our minds on Jesus and His amazing life, I have come to believe that our hearts will follow. On Christmas, I find myself wandering what it would be like to be there in that manger for His birth. Wise men took a great journey to welcome Jesus. They followed the star and came to celebrate Him and give Him gifts. I wonder what it would be like to be one of the wise men? Think about it, taking a long journey to welcome the birth of our Lord and Savior.
As I welcomed the birth of a child into this world I experienced a feeling of anticipation and hope and love like no other I had experienced. The miracle of childbirth is so amazing and humbling. When it was my own child, my knees became weak. I can remember feeling both so nervous and excited – anticipating whether she was healthy or even whether she was a boy or girl. We chose not to know ahead of time. I often wonder what God thinks about something or how He feels. Fortunately, He shares so much about Himself and His relationship with His people in the Bible. I wonder how He felt at the actual birth of His only begotten son, Jesus? I know God is love and He feels perfect love. I find myself asking Him to make my love “perfect.” When I read about His description of love in 1 Corinthians 13, I see my love needs to grow.
Even though I was made in the image of God, I realize that He is my creator, our creator. The hands that created me created the heavens and earth. He created the seas. The morning sunrise was His doing. And, He created this Holy Child with an amazing plan for Him. A child who would only live in the flesh for 33 years. Yet, this child would become the Savior of the Earth. His spirit would be with us forever.
The birth of Jesus was not necessarily the beginning of the story. It seems to me the story began in the beginning described in John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. God’s plan for us is beyond my wildest dreams and imagination in so many ways. However, I hold on with all of my heart, all my mind and all of my soul to the conviction that He created me with a plan in mind. And, I will look to Him to find His plan for me and I WILL rejoice and be glad in it.
For me, each of our children are “perfect.” I know and they know that they have plenty of imperfections. We share in the knowledge that I have plenty of weaknesses as their earthly Father. But, I love our children as they are, perfections and imperfections. They honor me in so many ways. They make me proud. They help me see and believe even more in Gods work in this world. Before I loved them I feel like I loved others with so much passion and emotion. Since I came to love them, I feel like my love increased beyond my own imagination’s measure. As I came to realize that, I loved them even more.
I want to be careful here. I am not suggesting that people who have not experienced having children to love do not love as fully as others. I AM suggesting that I did not love as fully before experiencing the amazing honor of being a Father as I did when I became a Daddy. I am so thankful for the increase I saw in myself for the capacity for loving. There have been other wonderful circumstances in my life where I saw my love grow. Each of those are to me a miracle of life that make it even more worth living. As we journey through life, I believe God opens doors for us to increase our love for Him and for others. I hope to walk through all of those doors the Lord has in mind for me.
Today, we celebrate what I have come to know and believe as life’s greatest miracle. John 3:16: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” As we read more of God’s word and believe in Him more in our hearts and minds, I find it becoming undeniable that God always keeps His promises and that God’s son is who God says He is. As He said in front of witnesses in Matthew 3:17, “And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."
Thank you God for this day. Thank you for the gift of your son, Jesus. May we honor and glorify in celebrating today on Christmas and all the days of our lives. Imagine that? Every day we celebrate the birth of our savior, the Lord Jesus and His amazing gifts of faith, hope and love for us. Amen. Merry Christmas!
Saturday, December 22, 2012
There Will Be a Day
Over the years I have come to love and thoroughly enjoy "rock" praise music. Music of worship that tends to get me fired up and even reminds me of my youth. A time when life seemed so much more simple and I still possessed a youthful innocence. I couldn't wait to become a grown up and do all of the things I was driven to do and dreamed about. And, you know I have been so incredibly blessed to do a great many of those things I dreamed about.
I have become a Father to 3 children that are far more wonderful than any vision I ever had for my children. I don't believe I "deserved" these children. They are so loving and kind to one another and to others. I am not being a blind Father. I see they are not perfect. But, I have to say that they are perfect for me. I will share more about them in the days to come.
When I met my wife and partner for the past 20 years, I was a broken man. I can say that now. My pride wouldn't allow me to admit then. And I was so driven to do something with my life, I was afraid to admit I had been a disappointment.
I wasn't a disappointment to my family. They were so loving and accepting of me. I wasn't a disappointment in business. I was a young, workaholic who loved my consulting clients and I was making a difference in their businesses. I had a wonderful mentor. As I have grown to seek God even more in my life I don't believe I was a disappointment to the God who created me. If I had so many things going for me, how could I call myself a disappointment? Who could I be a disappointment to? The answer is simple, I had been a disappointment to myself.
If you knew me then you would not likely have known this. I was a very hard-charging, positive young man. I loved each day with a great deal of passion and enthusiasm. I loved others. I worked hard. I played hard. I was totally into whatever I was doing. I was into self-improvement. It was practically an obsession. I was so determined to do so much with the gifts I had been trusted with by my family and my God. If all of these things were true, how could it be true that I was a disappointment to myself?
I don't think that my wife, Elizabeth that I met on a blind date knew I had this pain inside of me. How could I hide this "secret' from the people who I knew best and whom I loved the most? And, I am overly open person in so many ways. I believe the answer to this question is very telling about me and about many of the people I have known in my life. We all have things going on inside of us that we keep to ourselves. We are not attempting to be deceptive. We do not want to feel this hurt inside, but we have difficulty finding ways to face it. What changed for me? I will attempt to share my thoughts on this through the course of blogging.
First of all, I was incredibly lonely. I need to admit that I don't like sharing that. I was going through a very tough transition and I turned to someone that has always been there for me in life. He has always been there. The problem is even though He was always there for me, I had not been so good about turning to Him. I had become separated from my former wife and I was really ashamed of failing to keep our marriage together. We couldn't even agree on going to a particular church so we didn't go at all. Why? In my opinion, my stubborn pride. I started going to church by myself on Sundays at a small Presbyterian Church in Greenville, SC. It was tough. It seemed as though the Minister was talking directly to me. When he spoke of people and their problems, he seemed to be talking directly about me. I admit, it was hard hearing that. But as I heard it more and more often, I saw something starting to change in me.
I was becoming less and less judgmental about my own problems. I was somehow starting to hear a message on Sunday about love and grace instead of judgment and condemnation. I started seeing Jesus in a new light. It was the way I had seen Jesus in my teen years when I quietly read the New Testament each night before going to sleep. I started seeing Him with more of an innocence - and I was far from innocent.
For me this is one of the great beauties of the Gospel and Jesus. As we seek Him to come into our lives we find Him working inside of us to make us more like Him. I am not suggesting that I believe I am like Jesus. Yes, I would love to be more like Him. Yes, I would love to be free of my brokenness and failings. I do believe with all of my heart, all of my mind and all of my soul, that if you seek Him, He WILL begin to do His work in your life. And, when that happens a new kind of peace comes over you.
Now, I have a tough reality about my own journey to share. Even though I feel the presence of Jesus in my life more and more often, I still see my own shortcomings. I am sure others around me see I am so far from perfect. I still see myself look away from Him at times. It breaks my heart, but I know that is true. I share this not to make excuses for my own brokenness or my own sinfulness. I do not seek your sympathy. I share this because I so believe that with Him there is hope for me, for you, for all of us. I find myself feeling at times like Paul shared - Why is it at times that I say and do the very things I hate? That is hard to feel good about. But, I do feel good about turning to Jesus. Incredibly good. And, I do feel with Him that my life can be and is so much better. It isn't "easier", but it is more meaningful.
I thoroughly enjoy Jeremy Camp's song, "There Will be a Day." It is one of those rock praise songs that really inspires me. It starts like this:
"I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew
But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering
There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always."
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew
But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering
There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always."
As we approach Christmas day and the celebration of the birth of Jesus, I pray that Jesus will be someone alive, real and meaningful in your lives and mine. I would like to ask you for a special Christmas present. If you will, please pray for me and my family and loved ones that we will all see Jesus in our lives. My present to you is to pray for Jesus in your lives. If you would like for me to pray for something else, please let me know. Merry Christmas!
Friday, August 17, 2012
Hey Coach, What's The Backup Plan?
My Dad was a High School football coach for almost 2/3 of his working career (over 30 years of coaching). For 17 years of his career, he was in sales and sales management for Random House, the publishing company. After he "retired" for the 2nd time at 69, he became Mayor for another 7 years. He was still working at the age of 76 when he died in 1998. From my view, he lived a rather full life. In addition to raising 4 children (including me), his influence on other young men and women touched thousands of others. I remember in just one school year, he was Head Football Coach, Athletic Director, Head Girls Basketball Coach, Guidance Counsellor, Assistant Principal, Head Baseball Coach, History Teacher and he had a summer job too.
I can remember as a young boy carrying a football under my arm when I was so young I could barely walk. I decided rather early that I would walk in the footsteps of my Dad and my older brother and become a football coach like they both had done. My Dad had different ideas for me and he convinced me to focus on business and that was the path I eventually took. I have to admit I have always wondered what the life of coaching would have been like. In my mind, I privately had a "backup plan" that one day I would leave business and become a football coach and maybe even a wrestling coach. I even thought about which one of my Dad's friends and fellow coaches might agree to mentor me. Unfortunately, the door to coaching has not opened for me, yet.
I remember when I was in elementary school in the mid 60s in Cordele, Georgia, my Dad left coaching football to sell books for Random House. At the time, my heart sunk. I was so proud of my Dad being a coach. More importantly, I could not wait for the day that I would be in high school and my Dad would coach me. My brother Rickey who is 13 years older had played his high school football for Dad. He often told me just how fortunate I was that I was not going to "have" to play for Dad. Rickey pointed out that Dad was a very tough coach and he was significantly tougher on his own son. I know Rickey was not exaggerating, but I still was so incredibly disappointed not to have the opportunity to have Dad coach me on the football field.
He did help coach me for one season when I was in the 8th grade and that experience was rather remarkable. I mostly played offensive guard and linebacker. I was one of those people who loved contact and even though I wasn't too big or fast I was always able to hold my own. In that 8th grade season, my Dad had a pretty serious health scare and missed a game while he spent a few days in the hospital. Our team dedicated the game to my Dad. During the game, I asked our coach if he would let me play fullback some and have a chance to carry the ball. Even though I never before or since asked my coaches to do anything different for me, I did that particular day. The coach gave me my chance. I hope I don't sound like I am bragging, but I ran with the ball very well that day and broke more than one tackle. You could say I had even extra motivation. Late in the 4th quarter, I scored my one and only career touchdown carrying a defender with me into the endzone. The final score was 6-0. The difference was one touchdown. You can imagine how great I felt inside giving the game ball to my Dad in the hospital with the rest of our team. I still have that ball. The score is written on it. That ball means a great deal to me. As a Father now, I understand even more how much it meant to my Dad.
When I was preparing to play football in high school, my Dad sat down to speak to me about my disappointment over the reality that he was not going to be my football coach. He knew I wanted so badly to play for him and while Dad was not my high school football coach, he was one of my greatest life coaches. Here is what my Dad had to say:
He said, "Son, I know that you are really disappointed that I am not going to be your football coach. I am disappointed too. But I am doing what is best for our family and I know you understand that." (You know even though I was only 13, I did understand, but it still hurt inside.) He continued, "I have something to say about your playing football that I believe will mean more than me being your coach. You see son, I have seen so many young men play football that I believe what I am about to share with you is the most valuable lesson I can share about the game. I have seen so many young kids injured and carried off the field for the last time and they didn't know that they would never play another down. I have had many young men come into my office and say that they had no choice but to give up the game they loved. Some said, "Coach I am so sorry, but I have to give up football, my girlfriend is pregnant." Some times they would have to quit playing because they had lost their Father or Mother and needed to go to work. Maybe their families hit on hard times and they just couldn't see it coming." My Dad's description of the painful hurt he saw in these young men's eyes hit home then and has always stuck with me.
He paused and then he went on, "Son, every time you put on your helmut, and buckle your chinstrap, when you step onto the field, play every down as if it may be your last. And, if your really do this, and you are one of the lucky ones, you just might know when you are about to play your last down." I thought about what he said, I swallowed hard, and I said, "Yes sir." He gave me a hug like only my Dad could give me, we both wiped our eyes a bit and went quietly out of the room. Those words may seem dramatic, but they touched me as deeply as any words have in my life. Those are words that reach far beyond football.
It turned out that I was one of the "lucky ones." I played my last down against our cross town rivals on Thanksgiving Day, 1975. (I graduated from high school in the spring of 1976.) I even have a picture from that day with my Mom and Dad on the field for Senior Day. I knew deep inside that I was going to follow my Dad's advice and pursue business. If you were to look at the picture you will see some light sleet and snow. If you look real close, you might see a little moisture in my eyes because I knew inside this was my last day playing the game I loved so deeply. I still do love the game. But, this message is about far more than playing football, it is about playing the game of life.
How does this real life story tie to the "backup plan" message I am sharing? The answer is simple. My wonderful Father's message to play each down as if it were our last applies to our lives. We are called to live each day as if it were our last. We need to make every second count. We should start by making our peace with those we need to make peace with. Imagine if we all lived life with that kind of passion and intensity? I believe we honor God when we push ourselves to use all of the gifts he gave us. The most important message I have today is do NOT put off developing a relationship with your Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. You just might not have another chance to play the game of life tomorrow.
We do not not have many guarantees in this life, but God gave us a guarantee in the next one. By accepting Jesus into our lives, we are promised we can share eternity with Him. We bring heaven to earth when we do that. It is far more meaningful than even that special Thanksgiving day. The Lord loves when we turn to Him. I don't want to spend an eternity separated from my maker. God does not want to spend an eternity separated from you or me. Eternity is so much more important than football. And, yes as strange as it may seem coming from the son of a football coach who grew up thinking football was all-important, life is so much more important than football. If you don't already have this peace, I hope for you that this lesson will somehow help you develop a backup plan for when tomorrow never comes. You just might know when you're living your last day, but then again, you might not. I hope you are truly blessed. ~ Jim
I can remember as a young boy carrying a football under my arm when I was so young I could barely walk. I decided rather early that I would walk in the footsteps of my Dad and my older brother and become a football coach like they both had done. My Dad had different ideas for me and he convinced me to focus on business and that was the path I eventually took. I have to admit I have always wondered what the life of coaching would have been like. In my mind, I privately had a "backup plan" that one day I would leave business and become a football coach and maybe even a wrestling coach. I even thought about which one of my Dad's friends and fellow coaches might agree to mentor me. Unfortunately, the door to coaching has not opened for me, yet.
I remember when I was in elementary school in the mid 60s in Cordele, Georgia, my Dad left coaching football to sell books for Random House. At the time, my heart sunk. I was so proud of my Dad being a coach. More importantly, I could not wait for the day that I would be in high school and my Dad would coach me. My brother Rickey who is 13 years older had played his high school football for Dad. He often told me just how fortunate I was that I was not going to "have" to play for Dad. Rickey pointed out that Dad was a very tough coach and he was significantly tougher on his own son. I know Rickey was not exaggerating, but I still was so incredibly disappointed not to have the opportunity to have Dad coach me on the football field.
He did help coach me for one season when I was in the 8th grade and that experience was rather remarkable. I mostly played offensive guard and linebacker. I was one of those people who loved contact and even though I wasn't too big or fast I was always able to hold my own. In that 8th grade season, my Dad had a pretty serious health scare and missed a game while he spent a few days in the hospital. Our team dedicated the game to my Dad. During the game, I asked our coach if he would let me play fullback some and have a chance to carry the ball. Even though I never before or since asked my coaches to do anything different for me, I did that particular day. The coach gave me my chance. I hope I don't sound like I am bragging, but I ran with the ball very well that day and broke more than one tackle. You could say I had even extra motivation. Late in the 4th quarter, I scored my one and only career touchdown carrying a defender with me into the endzone. The final score was 6-0. The difference was one touchdown. You can imagine how great I felt inside giving the game ball to my Dad in the hospital with the rest of our team. I still have that ball. The score is written on it. That ball means a great deal to me. As a Father now, I understand even more how much it meant to my Dad.
When I was preparing to play football in high school, my Dad sat down to speak to me about my disappointment over the reality that he was not going to be my football coach. He knew I wanted so badly to play for him and while Dad was not my high school football coach, he was one of my greatest life coaches. Here is what my Dad had to say:
He said, "Son, I know that you are really disappointed that I am not going to be your football coach. I am disappointed too. But I am doing what is best for our family and I know you understand that." (You know even though I was only 13, I did understand, but it still hurt inside.) He continued, "I have something to say about your playing football that I believe will mean more than me being your coach. You see son, I have seen so many young men play football that I believe what I am about to share with you is the most valuable lesson I can share about the game. I have seen so many young kids injured and carried off the field for the last time and they didn't know that they would never play another down. I have had many young men come into my office and say that they had no choice but to give up the game they loved. Some said, "Coach I am so sorry, but I have to give up football, my girlfriend is pregnant." Some times they would have to quit playing because they had lost their Father or Mother and needed to go to work. Maybe their families hit on hard times and they just couldn't see it coming." My Dad's description of the painful hurt he saw in these young men's eyes hit home then and has always stuck with me.
He paused and then he went on, "Son, every time you put on your helmut, and buckle your chinstrap, when you step onto the field, play every down as if it may be your last. And, if your really do this, and you are one of the lucky ones, you just might know when you are about to play your last down." I thought about what he said, I swallowed hard, and I said, "Yes sir." He gave me a hug like only my Dad could give me, we both wiped our eyes a bit and went quietly out of the room. Those words may seem dramatic, but they touched me as deeply as any words have in my life. Those are words that reach far beyond football.
It turned out that I was one of the "lucky ones." I played my last down against our cross town rivals on Thanksgiving Day, 1975. (I graduated from high school in the spring of 1976.) I even have a picture from that day with my Mom and Dad on the field for Senior Day. I knew deep inside that I was going to follow my Dad's advice and pursue business. If you were to look at the picture you will see some light sleet and snow. If you look real close, you might see a little moisture in my eyes because I knew inside this was my last day playing the game I loved so deeply. I still do love the game. But, this message is about far more than playing football, it is about playing the game of life.
How does this real life story tie to the "backup plan" message I am sharing? The answer is simple. My wonderful Father's message to play each down as if it were our last applies to our lives. We are called to live each day as if it were our last. We need to make every second count. We should start by making our peace with those we need to make peace with. Imagine if we all lived life with that kind of passion and intensity? I believe we honor God when we push ourselves to use all of the gifts he gave us. The most important message I have today is do NOT put off developing a relationship with your Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. You just might not have another chance to play the game of life tomorrow.
We do not not have many guarantees in this life, but God gave us a guarantee in the next one. By accepting Jesus into our lives, we are promised we can share eternity with Him. We bring heaven to earth when we do that. It is far more meaningful than even that special Thanksgiving day. The Lord loves when we turn to Him. I don't want to spend an eternity separated from my maker. God does not want to spend an eternity separated from you or me. Eternity is so much more important than football. And, yes as strange as it may seem coming from the son of a football coach who grew up thinking football was all-important, life is so much more important than football. If you don't already have this peace, I hope for you that this lesson will somehow help you develop a backup plan for when tomorrow never comes. You just might know when you're living your last day, but then again, you might not. I hope you are truly blessed. ~ Jim
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Do You Have a Backup Plan?
I know people who have all kinds of backup plans. One of the most common backup plans people have is for their work or job. If something happens to their job, they have another one lined up "just in case". Many people have financial backup plans. Unfortunately, I know some people who have backup plans for their relationships - "If this one doesn't work, I will turn to him or her." Together we could list many ways that we have backup plans. Backup plans make a lot of sense. They are best when they are open and above board. Many of us have life insurance in case we leave this life and want to continue being financially responsible for others, especially those dependent on us.
I suspect that everyone that reads this blog has a backup plan in an area of their life that is important. Today, I am going to delve into what I believe is the ultimate backup plan. I am going to start by making a statement that I believe is an undeniable truth: Your time on this earth will eventually end in death. We are all "guaranteed" that we will not live our lives as we know it here forever. Yet, one of the strangest truths to me is that so many people live every day as if they know they will have a tomorrow. We simply do not know that we will have another day. Even if we attempt to stay safely at home in bed we can't be sure that we will live another day. And by living like tomorrow will always come, we put things off that are incredibly important. Unfortunately, many of us do not always get around to doing the things we know deep in our hearts are most important.
I am going to share through several blogs three incredible moments of truth in my life that really touched me deeply with the strong message that I am to live each day as if it were my last.
One of those moments happened soon after our family moved to Atlanta in 1997. This move was very difficult on our family, but I believed it was best for all of us. The difficulty of the move put some pressure on our relationships with one another. The good news is the move eventually led to us becoming even closer together as a family. Let's focus on the event that changed my perspective and life forever. Even though it was a fairly simple misunderstanding, the impact of what happened was incredible.
Our youngest daughter, Mary Sims was just 3 years old. My wife, Elizabeth, called me very early in the morning sobbing. I was at work and it was not even 7 am. Our phone connection was very poor and I "heard" her say, "Simsy has been hit by a car and she's been killed." I immediately responded, "No, please tell me, Mary Sims is okay, It isn't true." Elizabeth apparently could not hear me so well and she replied, "No she is dead. She is gone." I told her I would be right home and I left work immediately.
Maybe you can imagine, what that 20 minute drive was like on my way home. I actually hope you can't. I hope even more that you never experience the loss of your own child. Atlanta traffic was awful and I sat in it for a while. I told 1 person in my office about Mary Sims just before I bolted for home. She gasped and I left in a mad panic to get home as soon as I could. I made 1 phone call on my drive home to my Dad, gave him the horrible news, and asked him to please tell our family and pray for us. Dad told me how sorry he was and I said, "I know, Dad, somehow we will get through this."
I wept harder than I ever remember in my entire life. I immediately begged and begged God to take me instead. I asked Him to please create a miracle - I remember saying to Him, "Lord you don't owe me anything, but I will do anything to give our precious child another chance to live more life." It even crossed my mind I would give my life to give her one more day. Then, I found myself praying for my precious wife, Elizabeth. I kept thinking it had somehow happened on her watch, and I prayed for God to please help her not blame herself. Fault, didn't matter. Since that time in our lives was not the easiest in our marriage, it became so clear to me just how much I loved Elizabeth. My prayers for her peace told me she was worth every hardship we might ever face together in marriage. This all happened so incredibly fast. It was as if our lives had been altered forever in an instant. I wondered if I would ever smile again.
Then, Elizabeth called me and I answered. I immediately said, "I'm so sorry I took the expressway home. I will get off right away and find my way home as soon as possible." Then, she threw me a major curveball. She asked me, "Why are you coming home?" I admit I thought she had lost her mind when she asked me this. I wondered if I was getting closer to losing my own mind so her newest reaction almost made sense momentarily. I told her, "I need to be with you and I can't just stay at work." She responded., "What do you think you can do here?" I was shaking my head wondering how she thought I could stay at work at a time like this. I told he that I needed to be with her and and I wanted to see her (body). Elizabeth then said "She is at the Emergency Clinic on Roswell Road."That didn't make sense to me so I asked, "What Emergency Clinic"? She said, "The one at the Vet." I responded, "You left our daughter at the Vet?" Elizabeth shrieked in horror and began crying, "I am so sorry Jim, "It was Sidney our dog, not Simsy." (We love to call Mary Sims, Simsy.) Elizabeth apologized several more times through her tears.
I then told her, "I know this is tough, but I have to hang up and call my Dad and office right away." I was so relieved that Sims was safe that I never could feel too sad for the loss of our poor dog. (I felt a little guilty about that.) When I called my Mom and Dad, I discovered that they had been laying on the floor holding one another weeping since they hung up. My Dad was so relieved when I called him and shared the news. The conversations he and I later shared about this have also changed my life as a Father and son. When I returned to the office, I saw many tearful people who were so relieved that precious Mary Sims was okay. The people who came and hugged me and shared ever so briefly in my sorrow were incredibly touched by this misunderstanding. I believe it had a profound and unexpected effect on many of us.
That evening when I got home, I got down on my knees and hugged Mary Sims as if there was no tomorrow. Elizabeth began crying as she watched. Our oldest child Heath, who was a teenager watched us hug and cry, and she wiped away her own tears. Tears were rolling down my face as I felt Mary Sims precious hug and tiny fingers on my shoulders. That hug was beyond description. I kept thinking I would never see or feel her again...in this life. Mary Sims was too young to understand. We waited and later shared the story with her when she was a teenager. I can't tell you how many times I have hugged her, my wife, my son,Will, Heath, or another loved one again a second or third time because I knew I had no guarantees I could ever do it again. I have often gone into their rooms while they slept and kissed them on the cheeks just to know they were okay and to share my love. You see, we don't know we will have tomorrow and no matter what our backup plan is we need to say and do those things that matter the most now while we still can.
Say, what you need to say. Do, what you need to do. Make peace with a loved one. Make the hard telephone call you've been putting off, now. Don't count on tomorrow to be there to give you another chance to do it. But, I have something more to say.
This life is not always fair. In fact, it isn't fair in so many ways. We see random shootings in our world end lives senselessly. We see disease strike down young and old. There are so many car accidents. There are so many things that happen that we just can't make sense of and I suspect we never will...on this earth.
But, there is one thing we can hold near and dear to our hearts. We have a loving God that always keeps His promises. And He promises us eternity if we choose Him through the precious gift of His Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus died for us that we might be forgiven for our sins by his sacrifice for us and have eternal life. As Lucado said it, "Jesus chose the nails so that we could be together for eternity." Having felt what I felt for our beloved daughter, Mary Sims that day, I believe God's love for us demonstrated by Him allowing His son to suffer as He did on the cross is beyond any love I have ever seen on this earth. You see, any of the unfairness, the difficulty and tragedy in this life is offset by this amazing truth, "If we choose Jesus, we choose eternity." We have been given the amazing gift to choose eternity....now that is the ultimate backup plan. Jim
I suspect that everyone that reads this blog has a backup plan in an area of their life that is important. Today, I am going to delve into what I believe is the ultimate backup plan. I am going to start by making a statement that I believe is an undeniable truth: Your time on this earth will eventually end in death. We are all "guaranteed" that we will not live our lives as we know it here forever. Yet, one of the strangest truths to me is that so many people live every day as if they know they will have a tomorrow. We simply do not know that we will have another day. Even if we attempt to stay safely at home in bed we can't be sure that we will live another day. And by living like tomorrow will always come, we put things off that are incredibly important. Unfortunately, many of us do not always get around to doing the things we know deep in our hearts are most important.
I am going to share through several blogs three incredible moments of truth in my life that really touched me deeply with the strong message that I am to live each day as if it were my last.
One of those moments happened soon after our family moved to Atlanta in 1997. This move was very difficult on our family, but I believed it was best for all of us. The difficulty of the move put some pressure on our relationships with one another. The good news is the move eventually led to us becoming even closer together as a family. Let's focus on the event that changed my perspective and life forever. Even though it was a fairly simple misunderstanding, the impact of what happened was incredible.
Our youngest daughter, Mary Sims was just 3 years old. My wife, Elizabeth, called me very early in the morning sobbing. I was at work and it was not even 7 am. Our phone connection was very poor and I "heard" her say, "Simsy has been hit by a car and she's been killed." I immediately responded, "No, please tell me, Mary Sims is okay, It isn't true." Elizabeth apparently could not hear me so well and she replied, "No she is dead. She is gone." I told her I would be right home and I left work immediately.
Maybe you can imagine, what that 20 minute drive was like on my way home. I actually hope you can't. I hope even more that you never experience the loss of your own child. Atlanta traffic was awful and I sat in it for a while. I told 1 person in my office about Mary Sims just before I bolted for home. She gasped and I left in a mad panic to get home as soon as I could. I made 1 phone call on my drive home to my Dad, gave him the horrible news, and asked him to please tell our family and pray for us. Dad told me how sorry he was and I said, "I know, Dad, somehow we will get through this."
I wept harder than I ever remember in my entire life. I immediately begged and begged God to take me instead. I asked Him to please create a miracle - I remember saying to Him, "Lord you don't owe me anything, but I will do anything to give our precious child another chance to live more life." It even crossed my mind I would give my life to give her one more day. Then, I found myself praying for my precious wife, Elizabeth. I kept thinking it had somehow happened on her watch, and I prayed for God to please help her not blame herself. Fault, didn't matter. Since that time in our lives was not the easiest in our marriage, it became so clear to me just how much I loved Elizabeth. My prayers for her peace told me she was worth every hardship we might ever face together in marriage. This all happened so incredibly fast. It was as if our lives had been altered forever in an instant. I wondered if I would ever smile again.
Then, Elizabeth called me and I answered. I immediately said, "I'm so sorry I took the expressway home. I will get off right away and find my way home as soon as possible." Then, she threw me a major curveball. She asked me, "Why are you coming home?" I admit I thought she had lost her mind when she asked me this. I wondered if I was getting closer to losing my own mind so her newest reaction almost made sense momentarily. I told her, "I need to be with you and I can't just stay at work." She responded., "What do you think you can do here?" I was shaking my head wondering how she thought I could stay at work at a time like this. I told he that I needed to be with her and and I wanted to see her (body). Elizabeth then said "She is at the Emergency Clinic on Roswell Road."That didn't make sense to me so I asked, "What Emergency Clinic"? She said, "The one at the Vet." I responded, "You left our daughter at the Vet?" Elizabeth shrieked in horror and began crying, "I am so sorry Jim, "It was Sidney our dog, not Simsy." (We love to call Mary Sims, Simsy.) Elizabeth apologized several more times through her tears.
I then told her, "I know this is tough, but I have to hang up and call my Dad and office right away." I was so relieved that Sims was safe that I never could feel too sad for the loss of our poor dog. (I felt a little guilty about that.) When I called my Mom and Dad, I discovered that they had been laying on the floor holding one another weeping since they hung up. My Dad was so relieved when I called him and shared the news. The conversations he and I later shared about this have also changed my life as a Father and son. When I returned to the office, I saw many tearful people who were so relieved that precious Mary Sims was okay. The people who came and hugged me and shared ever so briefly in my sorrow were incredibly touched by this misunderstanding. I believe it had a profound and unexpected effect on many of us.
That evening when I got home, I got down on my knees and hugged Mary Sims as if there was no tomorrow. Elizabeth began crying as she watched. Our oldest child Heath, who was a teenager watched us hug and cry, and she wiped away her own tears. Tears were rolling down my face as I felt Mary Sims precious hug and tiny fingers on my shoulders. That hug was beyond description. I kept thinking I would never see or feel her again...in this life. Mary Sims was too young to understand. We waited and later shared the story with her when she was a teenager. I can't tell you how many times I have hugged her, my wife, my son,Will, Heath, or another loved one again a second or third time because I knew I had no guarantees I could ever do it again. I have often gone into their rooms while they slept and kissed them on the cheeks just to know they were okay and to share my love. You see, we don't know we will have tomorrow and no matter what our backup plan is we need to say and do those things that matter the most now while we still can.
Say, what you need to say. Do, what you need to do. Make peace with a loved one. Make the hard telephone call you've been putting off, now. Don't count on tomorrow to be there to give you another chance to do it. But, I have something more to say.
This life is not always fair. In fact, it isn't fair in so many ways. We see random shootings in our world end lives senselessly. We see disease strike down young and old. There are so many car accidents. There are so many things that happen that we just can't make sense of and I suspect we never will...on this earth.
But, there is one thing we can hold near and dear to our hearts. We have a loving God that always keeps His promises. And He promises us eternity if we choose Him through the precious gift of His Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus died for us that we might be forgiven for our sins by his sacrifice for us and have eternal life. As Lucado said it, "Jesus chose the nails so that we could be together for eternity." Having felt what I felt for our beloved daughter, Mary Sims that day, I believe God's love for us demonstrated by Him allowing His son to suffer as He did on the cross is beyond any love I have ever seen on this earth. You see, any of the unfairness, the difficulty and tragedy in this life is offset by this amazing truth, "If we choose Jesus, we choose eternity." We have been given the amazing gift to choose eternity....now that is the ultimate backup plan. Jim
Thursday, March 15, 2012
“A truth about someone that is hurtful needs to be buried and never shared.” ~ Jim Hershey
I realize that there are exceptions to this statement. There are exceptions to many truths in life. One challenge is we tend to forget that sharing a harmful truth needs to be an exception and over time an exception can become a bad habit in our lives. Imagine our lives if we learned to avoid sharing something bad about one another? Imagine our lives if we focused on finding the good in life and in each other?
I first remember seeing and learning an inspirational quote on the kitchen wall of my incredible, mother-in-law, Gladys Blackburn Heath. The quote, “When you look for the good in others you discover the best in yourself” ~ Martin Walsh. WOW! Gladys was the poster child for living this strongly held belief of hers. She always found a way to see the good in others. And I am not exaggerating. She ALWAYS did this. I have never met anyone in this life that seemed more comfortable finding the good in any situation and in any person. She did it with incredible grace and apparent ease. I regret never having the opportunity to ask Gladys if she had to work at this to become so good at it. She passed away over a decade ago, but her example and influence will inspire me and those who knew her well for a lifetime. I believe this core belief and part of her character is ONE of the most important reasons her influence on others has been so powerful.
I see people every day who want to be different. They choose a variety of ways to be different. They choose to look differently, to dress differently or to make statements that make them seem very different. Perhaps they live a life that is truly the road less travelled. I am not being critical of any of “these” ways of being different. That is not my place and certainly not a good example for me to set for someone to look for the good in others. What I am saying is that I saw an example in someone else’s life that had such an impact on me that I don’t want to EVER forget the difference she made. If we will choose to be different by looking for the good in others and by refraining from sharing hurtful truths about others, we might just become someone that is easy to remember for a very remarkable and positive reason.
My focus today is not meant just to be on Gladys. She was such a humble and gracious person, I don’t believe she would want this message to focus solely on her. In fact, she was amazingly good at making you feel like YOU were the most person in the world when she spent time with you. She always found a way to offer encouragement and make you feel good about yourself. She was a great listener. My point today is to focus on setting ourselves apart by doing something simple, yet not easy, something that gives us a way to help others just by being with them. I am offering encouragement to discipline ourselves to find ways to see the good in others. When we begin doing this, we will not only help others, I believe the Lord will work on our hearts ultimately making us feel so much better about ourselves. It is in giving that we receive…
I remember a time when I found myself sharing a story with two close friends that was not so flattering about someone I was once close to. I was justifying why this man could not be trusted. As I finished telling the story, I felt ashamed that I had shared something that would not help those I told and would surely hurt the person I was speaking of if he knew I told this truth about him. Yes, everything I said was true. I described what happened just as it had happened. Afterwards, I asked God to forgive me and I asked my friends too. But, here is a tough truth: Even though I have been forgiven for my mistake, I still hurt others with my carelessness. And even if I find the courage to tell him what happened and apologize to him, I am determined to avoid hurting others. I hurt myself too. There is a much better way to “warn” others to be careful trusting someone than to spread more dirt around. Remember the words from the old George Strait song, “Every time you throw dirt on her, you lose a little ground.” This is true for all of God’s creations. We are called to love one another. “By this, they will know you are my disciples that you have loved one another.”~ paraphrased from John 13:35
I am determined to be more careful today and in the future. I am determined to see the good in others so that I might discover the best in myself. And to repeat my own quote, “A truth about someone that is hurtful needs to be buried and never shared.” I am determined to be His disciple. In order to do so, I must let go of my bad habits and replace them with better ones.
Gladys Heath, if you were with us this day, I would thank you again for the example you set for us. I would thank you for inspiring me to be a better person. I hope that others will be inspired by my sharing with them a little glimpse of you today. You were a great disciple in my life for whom I will be forever thankful. Jim
I first remember seeing and learning an inspirational quote on the kitchen wall of my incredible, mother-in-law, Gladys Blackburn Heath. The quote, “When you look for the good in others you discover the best in yourself” ~ Martin Walsh. WOW! Gladys was the poster child for living this strongly held belief of hers. She always found a way to see the good in others. And I am not exaggerating. She ALWAYS did this. I have never met anyone in this life that seemed more comfortable finding the good in any situation and in any person. She did it with incredible grace and apparent ease. I regret never having the opportunity to ask Gladys if she had to work at this to become so good at it. She passed away over a decade ago, but her example and influence will inspire me and those who knew her well for a lifetime. I believe this core belief and part of her character is ONE of the most important reasons her influence on others has been so powerful.
I see people every day who want to be different. They choose a variety of ways to be different. They choose to look differently, to dress differently or to make statements that make them seem very different. Perhaps they live a life that is truly the road less travelled. I am not being critical of any of “these” ways of being different. That is not my place and certainly not a good example for me to set for someone to look for the good in others. What I am saying is that I saw an example in someone else’s life that had such an impact on me that I don’t want to EVER forget the difference she made. If we will choose to be different by looking for the good in others and by refraining from sharing hurtful truths about others, we might just become someone that is easy to remember for a very remarkable and positive reason.
My focus today is not meant just to be on Gladys. She was such a humble and gracious person, I don’t believe she would want this message to focus solely on her. In fact, she was amazingly good at making you feel like YOU were the most person in the world when she spent time with you. She always found a way to offer encouragement and make you feel good about yourself. She was a great listener. My point today is to focus on setting ourselves apart by doing something simple, yet not easy, something that gives us a way to help others just by being with them. I am offering encouragement to discipline ourselves to find ways to see the good in others. When we begin doing this, we will not only help others, I believe the Lord will work on our hearts ultimately making us feel so much better about ourselves. It is in giving that we receive…
I remember a time when I found myself sharing a story with two close friends that was not so flattering about someone I was once close to. I was justifying why this man could not be trusted. As I finished telling the story, I felt ashamed that I had shared something that would not help those I told and would surely hurt the person I was speaking of if he knew I told this truth about him. Yes, everything I said was true. I described what happened just as it had happened. Afterwards, I asked God to forgive me and I asked my friends too. But, here is a tough truth: Even though I have been forgiven for my mistake, I still hurt others with my carelessness. And even if I find the courage to tell him what happened and apologize to him, I am determined to avoid hurting others. I hurt myself too. There is a much better way to “warn” others to be careful trusting someone than to spread more dirt around. Remember the words from the old George Strait song, “Every time you throw dirt on her, you lose a little ground.” This is true for all of God’s creations. We are called to love one another. “By this, they will know you are my disciples that you have loved one another.”~ paraphrased from John 13:35
I am determined to be more careful today and in the future. I am determined to see the good in others so that I might discover the best in myself. And to repeat my own quote, “A truth about someone that is hurtful needs to be buried and never shared.” I am determined to be His disciple. In order to do so, I must let go of my bad habits and replace them with better ones.
Gladys Heath, if you were with us this day, I would thank you again for the example you set for us. I would thank you for inspiring me to be a better person. I hope that others will be inspired by my sharing with them a little glimpse of you today. You were a great disciple in my life for whom I will be forever thankful. Jim
Saturday, February 11, 2012
“Hey Horse!” Oh, what I would give to hear those words again today. You see, there has only been 1 person in my life who greeted me that way, my Dad.
“Hey Horse!” Oh, what I would give to hear those words again today. You see, there has only been 1 person in my life who greeted me that way, my Dad. Today, if our Father was still alive, he would be celebrating his 90th birthday. Today is very close to the 14th year we have missed seeing him, hearing him and enjoying our time with him.
He died on February 18, 1998 just one week after his 76th birthday. Dad never looked his age. When he was 76, he could have passed for a much younger man, maybe even 50. Though I never saw him in his 20s, he actually may have looked older than his age then because he became balding as a very young man. I never knew my Dad with hair. What he did have was an amazing energy and enthusiam for life. He related to people as well as anyone I have ever known. He was one of those people, I call “larger than life.”
I miss him terribly. He was always there for me when I needed him. If I needed someone to discuss a tough issue with, he was one of the best. He listened carefully, weighed out what the best response was, and he shared his thoughts with you with great passion and enthusiasm. He told you what you “needed” to hear not necessarily what you wanted to hear. You always knew you could count on him for that. Actually, I always knew I could count on him period. That was the kind of man he was, the kind of father and the kind of friend. As he taught me, to have a friend, you needed to be a friend. He was indeed a good friend.
I don’t know why he so often greeted me with, “Hey horse”, but to hear him say those words again would be music to my ears today. They were words that meant a great deal to me then. They meant a lot then and even more now. I cherish them and often close my eyes and imagine I hear him saying them again. We all need to have someone in our lives that when we hear them speak it soothes our souls.
Today as we celebrate his birthday without him with us, it hurts deeply. I miss him more than I can describe. I would love for him to see our family today…to see our oldest daughter, Heath and her adopted little girl, Neema. He would love it so much that she was close to becoming a “teacher”, a profession he loved and did so well in. He would admire her going back for her Masters as he once did. He would love to see our son, Will who has become a fine young man with such wisdom and compassion for others. I can imagine them sitting alone and sharing stories together that would last for a life time. Will's sensitivity for people would touch my Dad's heart. I am sure he would be so amazed by our youngest daughter Mary Sims, with her quick mind and wit, and passion for life. He would have wonderful words of wisdom for her as well. Her fiery spirit and leadership skills would be traits he could easily relate to. Dad would be so proud of all of our children. Most of all, he would have so much love for them.
I have often wished he could see Elizabeth and me as we truly became parents together. She gave me “her” 2 children to love as if they were my own. Somehow, we have become "one together." Elizabeth gave us a 3rd child and sister that became glue to bond us all together perhaps even deeper than before. Dad was alive to witness some of this, but he missed seeing us grow so close to one another. Dad would love to see the way we loved one another. He would enjoy seeing how much our children have taught me about how to be a better man and father. Thank you, Heath, Will and Mary Sims. Thank you, most of all, Elizabeth -without your love, devotion and the gift of our children, I would not be part of the most cherished part of my life, our family.
Happy Birthday, Dad. I wish you were here to share the day and life with us. Without you, I would not even have a life. I look forward to my 1st day in eternity sharing it with you. Until then, I have much to do here to live life to the fullest the way you taught us all to do. In the meantime, I will close my eyes from time to time and imagine I can hear your wonderful voice say, “Hey Horse.” If I am really still I believe I can actually hear you speak…
Monday, January 23, 2012
When the Answer is Silence - "No longer do I call you servants . . . but I have called you friends." John 15:15
Sometimes the hardest answer to accept is when you ask someone a question and no answer is given. Do you know what I mean? You ask a question and the answer is silence. It is in those times you may need to recognize that you can't always get what you want or need even from those you are closest to in life. It may be someone you work with. It may be a trusted friend. It may be a family member whom you love unconditionally. When we turn to one another for help, let's face it, we don't always receive the response we're looking for or need. While those moments can be very difficult, they also can be moments where we grow the most.
I often turn to God when my needs are the greatest in life. I have come to enjoy turning to Him. I believe He welcomes us to come to Him with open arms. We are called to be more like Him and we can know what it means to be like God by understanding Jesus and His life. Jesus set an amazing example for all of us. Jesus asked men to follow Him and some of them just dropped what they were doing and followed Him. That amazes me. Does that amaze you? Think of grown men just dropping what they are doing and walking from village to village. I find myself wondering if He came by my office one day and asked me to follow Him, how would I answer? Would it be in silence? I hope not.
One of the many quotes I learned from my Dad was, "To have a friend, you must be a friend". That is the kind of friend I am determined to be in life. It is the kind of person I am determined to be for my friends, my family and my community, including work. I admit that at times I fall short of being the person and friend I am determined to be. I know to truly love someone including God that I need to be there for others when they need me. I am not suggesting that I am needed especially by an all-powerful God, but I love the idea of serving Him. How do we serve others in our lives? How do we serve God? Or, are we being loyal and loving simply because we want something in return?
I want my answer to that question to become that am much more selfless not selfish. When I sit down today to pray or talk with God, I challenge myself to not ask for anything from Him. I ask all of you who read this to join me in this conversation with God - this special prayer. Let's just thank God for being our maker. Let's thank Him for giving us the gift of the morning breeze. Let's thank Him for so many wonderful things in this life. Let's thank Him for listening to us and being there for us even when we believe He is being silent. Let's thank Him together for the special people in our lives. Let's thank Him together for giving His son to us. Let's see if we can simply praise Him without asking for anything in return. Amen. "No longer do I call you servants . . . but I have called you friends." John 15:15
I often turn to God when my needs are the greatest in life. I have come to enjoy turning to Him. I believe He welcomes us to come to Him with open arms. We are called to be more like Him and we can know what it means to be like God by understanding Jesus and His life. Jesus set an amazing example for all of us. Jesus asked men to follow Him and some of them just dropped what they were doing and followed Him. That amazes me. Does that amaze you? Think of grown men just dropping what they are doing and walking from village to village. I find myself wondering if He came by my office one day and asked me to follow Him, how would I answer? Would it be in silence? I hope not.
One of the many quotes I learned from my Dad was, "To have a friend, you must be a friend". That is the kind of friend I am determined to be in life. It is the kind of person I am determined to be for my friends, my family and my community, including work. I admit that at times I fall short of being the person and friend I am determined to be. I know to truly love someone including God that I need to be there for others when they need me. I am not suggesting that I am needed especially by an all-powerful God, but I love the idea of serving Him. How do we serve others in our lives? How do we serve God? Or, are we being loyal and loving simply because we want something in return?
I want my answer to that question to become that am much more selfless not selfish. When I sit down today to pray or talk with God, I challenge myself to not ask for anything from Him. I ask all of you who read this to join me in this conversation with God - this special prayer. Let's just thank God for being our maker. Let's thank Him for giving us the gift of the morning breeze. Let's thank Him for so many wonderful things in this life. Let's thank Him for listening to us and being there for us even when we believe He is being silent. Let's thank Him together for the special people in our lives. Let's thank Him together for giving His son to us. Let's see if we can simply praise Him without asking for anything in return. Amen. "No longer do I call you servants . . . but I have called you friends." John 15:15
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